The Ups and Downs of Life - What's your story?

The Ups and Downs of Life – a subject for Counselling

When something goes down, it can be interpreted as bad.  Like a fall in the stock market.  But in a game like golf, while we aim to get balls up and forward, when they fall into the hole, this is a good thing.  For anyone watching the Masters Tournament at Augusta National Golf Course, the intensity of the play between Rory McIlroy and Bryson Dechambeau was the prime focus for everyone at the start of the last round.  But then Rory started to move into the lead, only to lose it, and then it seemed there were other competitors gaining ground.  In the end, the battle was between Rory and Justin Rose.  The element that engaged spectators and viewers was the fact that it seemed Rory would win, and then after a poor shot that saw his ball go into a little creek, it appeared that it was all over for him, and he would lose.  To add to the drama, when hopes were raised again, on the 18^th hole, he missed a short putt.  This called for another few holes with sudden death.  We know, for those of us who watched or read about this, that Rory did secure a win that day.  He also achieved the Grand Slam, which means he won the US Open, two PGA Championships and the Masters.  He is only one of six men to do this, and he is the only European. So, what does all this have to do with counselling?  I think it shows that even accomplished people, successful people, and skilled people all go through trials. Rory was seeking to achieve his dream of the Masters and Grand Slam for decades.  As a young child introduced to golf by his father, he wanted to attain his goal of winning.  But as is obvious from his career trajectory, to be victorious is not a given in life.  Everyone has struggles. Pain and suffering are usually part of life.  Ups and Downs while not seeming good, are good for us.  The key is to regulate our responses to them to ensure that neither success nor failure is unhealthy for us.  To remain balanced in life is to get out, take risks and enjoy and accept what happens along the way.

Working towards and keeping better physical and mental health

A golfer’s life can be one of privilege, but many programs these days allow for access to the sport for a variety of people.  There are many sponsorship programs and public courses that are manageable for people to participate in and play. While golf may not be a sport for many people and for those who joke how difficult could it be given the fact that the ball is not moving when you go to hit it. It has many life lessons for us.  Golf - it can be a solitary sport, competing really against oneself, unless a person is playing in a tournament.  And yet, golf can be a social sport calling for people to be at minimum pleasant with each other.  The importance of getting outside and forcing us to engage and interact with others can be challenging for many people.  However, the physical activity and social components are good elements for helping people deal with or stave off depression.  The counting of strokes, i.e., shots taken, keeps people mentally alert, as does the choosing of the correct club that works for them for specific yardages. Sports like these are good for people of all ages.  The attractive thing about golf is that many people can still participate even in their 80s and 90s if they have retained some level of fitness.  For many people, golf may be taken up in a more serious way around retirement age when people have more time and are seeking to get out of the house.  Club leagues attract many seniors to go out and have some friendly challenges.  I like that element, and would hope as I age, I could do the same.  The goal in life for me and many others, is to keep moving and to keep enjoying friendships and social events for as long as we can.

Engage in Counselling

I choose golf as an example for this blog post, but it could also be, for example, the struggle of the Oilers to beat the Kings in the first round of the NHL playoffs this year.  There were seeming losses and then gains, and some almost heart-attack-inducing periods.  The Oilers were disappointed to lose in the final last year to the Panthers.  Just one goal.  That was what defined who won and who lost.  Sometimes the choices we make in life define what happens next.  We can rejoice when we have chosen or played our hand well, but what if we feel we could have done something else?  How do we handle disappointment? How do we come to terms that maybe some decisions were not so good in hindsight?  How do we move on?  Do we seek to forget or blame ourselves, or others?  The ups and downs of our personal lives are not played out in public like the struggles and triumphs of a golfer, Rory or hockey teams like the Oilers.  But the ups and downs are good fodder for some interesting counselling sessions.  Exploring what has gone well and what could improve can help people move on to realize that things are okay and can get better.  If situations seem awful, there can be an examination of what might help bring hope.  Counselling is something for everyone.  Even Rory is on record for saying that he benefited from talking with a sports psychologist, and the same for many of the Oilers.  Having people to confide in and tease out what is going on is truly something to consider.  Rory, the Oilers and others around us have all experienced great lows in life, but with time, with analytical conversations and work on changing perspectives, happier times came to them and are within reach for us all. What about you?  Time to find someone to talk to about the ups and downs in your story?  Book an appointment with me and let's go from there.