Losing a pet

The impact of pets on our lives

Our furry friends have generally spent a heck of a long time with us. Pets often arrive in families when children are young or in their teenage years. They have grown alongside those children who are now out of the house, independent, and often with their own families. Many people confide in their pets. As one client stated when going through a rough patch in her marriage, “I felt the only living thing I could talk to was my dog.  I could tell him anything and knew he wouldn’t spill the beans.”  

Pets and health can go hand in hand; pet therapy, for example, has become an essential resource in many hospitals.  Visits to patients by trained volunteers with their dogs bring comfort and solace to many, including the hospital staff.  Therapists use pets in many ways. For example, they can help in the recovery of young kids who are hospitalized.  Young patients are often reluctant to walk due to fatigue, but it is important that they get up and move.  Pet therapy comes in nicely because when the physiotherapist asks, "Would you like to walk the dog?" many children or teen patients are instantly motivated.

Other examples from a hospital context are that patients with mental health issues often find a special bond that is possible with their weekly visits with the dogs and their handlers.  No words are necessarily needed.  Some patients are reluctant to share their emotions, but their eyes well up when patting the dogs.  The power of the animal’s presence can be comforting and emotionally healing; there are physical benefits, too.  Research has shown that pet therapy can help patients feel more connected to another living being,  they feel calmer and this helps lower their blood pressure, and they feel less alone. Pet therapy can be formal, like in hospitals, but pets at home also bring their own health benefits.  Many pet owners describe the mere presence of a pet as adding something to the home dynamic. 

When pets die, it is very difficult. Pet owners grieve. They can be depressed and lack motivation to get out of the house. They can be tired and disinterested in life.  We must not underestimate how the death of any living thing that is loved impacts us.  A family dog, cat rabbit etc. can even be expected to pass on due to age or illness but the grief is always sudden and new.  We can grieve in many ways.  

So, what are some of the things we can do for people at the time of loss when their pets die?  Are there meaningful rituals?  Should you pop by for a short visit with some flowers? Or go over with some treats for maybe the other dog in the family or something nice for the kids?  It made me think, hmmm, what would I do for someone?  People will always appreciate our gestures but we need to be mindful and sensitive but it is not always easy to determine what is best for a person grieving.  We do it for humans, of course, but a gesture for the loss of pets can also be very meaningful.  What might you like if you lost a pet?  Would you like to have a visit from a friend with their furry family member if you were at home and feeling down?  Maybe you could consider what you could do for others in a similar situation. There are lots of questions here and lots to reflect on.  I always welcome the tales of tails that my clients bring to me, some sad and some happier, like when they announce in time after losing a pet. . . 'Hey, it's not a big deal or anything . . . but we've decided to get a new cat . . . I'm ready now”.  Counselling is for the big stuff and the little stuff . . . in my opinion . . . the loss of a pet is part of the big stuff!